The boy was always alone. And he felt alone even when he was with many people not because he had no one to stay with but because he decided to be alone when he was 17, when everything started. Before that he was always looking for something special in his life.
He always had those dreams to leave everything behind him and start a new exciting life with different rules and different people. He spent a long time inside his room with his stories because he liked them: they weren’t normal but fantastical without any stupid limits. That’s what he was thinking, that life was limited by stupid rules coming from a long time ago. It’s boring and he doesn’t want it. I will change it, that’s what he always said. I want to go somewhere else.
But after that everything changed and he has no normal life any more, he thought there was a chance to change his life in that place when everything started. He is from a country where there are so many people still thinking like the old ages; life was frozen and everything stopped a long time ago; the people think like their parents not because they want to but because they have to or because they’re so used to that way of thinking that they can’t be different. But after that he thought something’s gonna change this.
He was confident at the first that maybe it will change everything people want to change. That’s what he was really happy for but like always life is not gonna be like your wishes. The people who asked for change weren’t better and his country was in between two bad sides. After big hopes he understood that it doesn’t matter who gonna win it’s the same.
His life became worse, nothing was good before but after the war it was so bad. He decided to leave like he always wished. He thought, it’s a different way to leave, but it doesn’t matter how bad as long as you get what you really want, as long as you get away. Everyone around him opposed that idea. With no power, no money, a young guy needs a long time to do that. He made it true but after a while he can’t express how horrible it was, every time he tried to take a step he got walls in his face that were so hard.
This boy made it true; he took the first step after a long time only to find a harder step after. Like every time, step by step, he got somewhere else after somewhere else; he took more steps but even now he is still trying because he is still in the middle of his way; he is somewhere in this world trying to get his life, that life he always wanted because he believes he still has no life sometimes and he wishes he never was born in this world but he decided a long time ago to get a new different life in different places where the people move with the times.
He doesn’t want to give up, he’s so used to everything being bad in his life that you not gonna feel bad because you’re used to it, wait, I don’t think so: do you believe that you can get used to bad things? I think he just gets the ability to hide it now, hide it somewhere no one can find it. It’s harder to get the pain so deep inside your soul, yes maybe now everything better but he still with no life; he is somewhere where he’s got better situation, he has something to do but it’s still no life, he is scared to leave, he knows he has no life but at least he has fun, nice people around him and something to do, but he has no stability here, he is not sure if this good thing will stay and he is not sure if he can stay here at all. Should I move on or not? He is afraid of the unknown, what am I gonna see after the next step or will I just lose what I have here; is there any chance I will get where I am going, is there any chance they will accept me? I am just sure about one thing: he will never give up not because he’s that brave, it’s because I have nothing to lose nothing to back for that why he will never give up because that means I will go back where no one is waiting for me.